Because I Said So!

| July 25, 2010 | Comments (3)
Crying Child with Mom Looking on

Crying Child in Garden

“When I’m a mom, I’ll NEVER do that!”

How many times did I shout that at my own mother? How often were those words indignantly flung from my young mouth over the outrageously cruel injustice* that was being imposed upon my former childhood self?

Obviously, now that I am a mother of an 11 year old, my own words have come back to bite me on my proverbial ass.

“Because I said so.” One of the all-time WORST one-liners that a parent can sling at their kid. This is the phrase that makes all kids’ skin crawl and brains turn into boiling hot lava. Saying “because I said so” to a kid is like reinforcing the fact that being a child is akin to being a prisoner in a maximum security jail: you have very little say in your daily decisions and any mistake you make can be one that will deprive you of the little freedom you have. It’s also something I always vowed to never-ever-ever say… So it’s only natural that it is the phrase that is most frequently used in my parenting repertoire.

My 11-year old’s face becomes a very lovely shade of maroon when I can no longer remain calm in the face of his pre-teen tirade. I have about 4 calm responses in me per situation. When they beg or whine or cry for the fifth time as to WHY they can’t have or do the very wonderful thing that I am so callously depriving them of? That’s when I snap and pull out the good old BISS.

But the true beauty of “Because I Said So” is in its simplicity! I understand, Mom! I DO. Now that I have to respond to hundreds of inquiries every hour, I see that BISS is sometimes the only way that a mom can retain her sanity until her little darlings finally pass out at night. Sometimes, it’s ok to eat your words and do exactly what you swore you wouldn’t in order to survive.

My son swears that he will never tell his own kids “because I said so.” He promises me that he will be nicer to them and tell them exactly WHY he wants them to do something.

Heh, heh. Sure thing, kiddo. We’ll talk about this again in about 25 years…

*As a child of an average income with parents that stayed married to this day, you can imagine how “unjust” my life was. No MTV! No CABLE, for pity’s sake! My life was truly, truly deprived…

Category: teens

About Tracey Becker: Tracey is mother of 3(11 yr, 8 yr and 4 yr), living in the suburbs of Chicago. Knowing that family would be her first "career" the jobs before children were just that: jobs. The ability to quit working when her eldest son was 15 months old was the beginning of a crazy career as a SAHM. 10 years later, she is still in love with her job and family. Her time is spent homeschooling 3 kids, carting them to scouts, soccer and ballet and enjoying the blogosphere. Cooking and cleaning are not top priority, but hanging out with the family definitely is. She spends the majority of her personal "free" time blogging at JustAnotherMommyBlog. . View author profile.

Comments (3)

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  1. Lisa says:

    I am a HUGE fan of BISS myself and I think I only have a 2 calm response threshold. I HATE whining!!!

  2. Yes, my boys ask why I *always* yell. I remind them often that I don’t yell the first time. Or the second. And usually not the third, either. I can’t see parenting without BISS. I wish your son luck.

  3. Shari says:

    The scary thing is I hear our girls repeating things I say to their dolls. I wonder how many more they will collect before they have their own children.

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