Not a Post for my Father to Read

| March 9, 2011 | Comments (16)

I was at the Hollywood Palms Cinema in Naperville (which, if you’ve never been, I highly suggest visiting for your next movie outing. “Unique” doesn’t even BEGIN to describe how totally cool each theater is…) last week to see the movie Hall Pass. Now, I’m not here to critique the movie. It was funny and I enjoyed it and you probably will too. Or maybe not. I don’t know you very well; what type of humor do you find “funny?”

I AM here, however to make a comment on the recurring theme that presents itself in so many movies, books, tv shows and magazines regarding women and sex. The theme being, naturally, that we don’t like it. That we’d do just about anything, including pretending to be asleep, lying about chores to finish, and groaning when our significant other gives us the old wink and nudge at the end of the day.

Am I really the only one who enjoys sex?

Am I truly a minority being that I, at nearly 35 years of age*, still am and have ALWAYS been ready and willing to eagerly lock the bedroom door any time, any day, and (blushes) any place? Is my husband “lucky” as the movies would like us to believe?

I don’t think so.

I do NOT believe that women should be so easily written off the field of being Sexually Interested. Yes, I’ve read the studies where we get the facts of percentages comparing libidos and sexual thoughts and blah blah blah. Science schmience. I know that there are plenty of women whose sex drives are very low and who actually DO do the above mentioned evasive maneuvers to avoid the act. But aren’t movies and books and other medias that assume that ALL 30+ women are sexually frigid a huge part of the problem? By repeatedly creating characters who would rather knit than “get busy”, aren’t they just reinforcing the notion that this behavior is normal, acceptable and actually “funny”?

Maybe Hollywood should spin the focus. Do their fellow men and women a favor and produce more movies that portray women who are just as sexually interested as their partners. Show women that are involved with men (or women) who take THEIR needs seriously. Show male partners that care about the woman, the relationship, and the woman’s role in their sex life. Portray¬† romance that exists not only in the infancy of the relationship, but also many, many years down the road.

Because we exist, Hollywood! It’s not a myth and I am not a phenomenon.

My name is Tracey and I Like Sex.

*Next month! Send chocolate. And wine. Lots and lots of wine…

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Category: Shari's Corner

About Tracey Becker: Tracey is mother of 3(11 yr, 8 yr and 4 yr), living in the suburbs of Chicago. Knowing that family would be her first "career" the jobs before children were just that: jobs. The ability to quit working when her eldest son was 15 months old was the beginning of a crazy career as a SAHM. 10 years later, she is still in love with her job and family. Her time is spent homeschooling 3 kids, carting them to scouts, soccer and ballet and enjoying the blogosphere. Cooking and cleaning are not top priority, but hanging out with the family definitely is. She spends the majority of her personal "free" time blogging at JustAnotherMommyBlog. . View author profile.

Comments (16)

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  1. megryansmom says:

    Shhhh, don’t tell my adult kids, but I like sex too.

  2. Shari says:

    There’s some happy middle between jumping into bed with everyone (Sex and the City) and the rest of Hollywood that makes women seem like they’d rather do anything besides have sex. Just like everything else, the middle — where most of us live — is just too boring for the movies.

  3. Christa says:

    I think it stems not from women disliking sex in general, but disliking crappy sex where the guy is satisfied and the woman is left high and dry. It makes me sad for the women who have never had a good lover.

  4. Lisa says:

    You go girl!!! With my husband being 16 years old, we have the opposite problem. Biologically aren’t we SUPPOSED to be hitting out peak now?? That’s what I was always told, men at 18 and women at 30!! After having my third son I went through a spell where I really didn’t miss it (like for 2 years) but apparently my hormones have FINALLY regained normal and I have to beg borrow and steal every ounce of ‘attention’ I DO get! :)

  5. Lisa, I know your husband isn’t 16. Do you mean 16 years OLDER? Please clarify. :)

  6. Amy says:

    I love this post, Tracey! And I agree! Unsurprisingly, the writers of Hall Pass are all men.

  7. I SO agree – none of the women I know hate sex, why is it that every single woman in a movie thinks it’s annoying??

  8. Pamela says:

    It is truly embarrassing how much I like sex or more accurately and specifically how much I love sex with my husband. But I will admit that sex for the sake of sex does nothing for me. I like the deep emotional connection melt into each other languid afterglow sex. But I don’t see that theme selling a lot of movie tickets — 44 year old wife finds her husband really hot. Nope. Not filling the theaters, because it isn’t in them. But I’ll bet it would if it were. Because there’s a lot more of US out there than Hollywood credits for.

  9. Carabee says:

    I like sex. Always have. That being said, there was a couple year drought in there during pregnancy and after my daughter was born. The ironic thing for me is that talking with most of my friends and its the HUSBANDS that are less interested in sex. But the man-boys that write in Hollywood are not going to portray that because THAT isn’t funny. Oh well.

  10. JJ Keith says:

    Uh, still waiting for Lisa to clarify. I’m a little worried over here.

  11. leah says:

    I have to agree Hollywood is way off, at least in my house it is.

  12. Jennifer says:

    Oh how I wish I were you Tracy! I haven’t had a libido in about 8 years or more! I’ve tried every trick in the book to spice up my sex life with no luck. I do believe loss of libido is more common than we think, although I think that movies and media make it appear like women with this issue don’t mind this challenge. We certainly do mind though, it is a difficult thing to accept :)
    Love this article. How ’bout movies about people who have overcome this challenge :)

  13. Sylvia says:

    I get the not interested when you’re living on 4 hours of sleep with baby spit-up all over. At that point, maybe it’s a realistic portrayal of life with an infant. Totally different story after they’re sleeping through the night. There is something to be said about the hormonal difference in the 30s- I think I always had a “normal” sex drive, but now… Maybe there’s a reason for the Dirty Thirties?

  14. Heh. Dirty Thirties. I have NEVER heard that one!

    Jennifer, I’m sorry your libido has taken a vacation. I know you’ve tried a lot to fix it, but have you tried the doctor? Especially a FEMALE Gyne. They’re more understanding.

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