Why Bullying is NOT Just A Phase
Today I was saddened to hear about the suicide of 10 year old Illinios resident Ashlynn Conner. She was an honor student who hung herself in a home closet and was found by one of her siblings.
All because of bullying.
She told her mom that she was being bullied – and had told her years before, but her mom said that she did not know how to handle the situation. That poor little girl even asked to be home schooled because of the wretched things that were being said to her by her classmates. And her mom felt helpless. And I know the feelings that Ashlynn and her mother have felt. Because I’ve been in both situations.
People, it’s time to take a stand. Seriously. As a person who was bullied in grammar school, I know that this is NOT just a “kids will be kids” phase of life. It hurts. It acts on your self-esteem. It can lead to depression. A CHILD should NOT be depressed. A CHILD should be able to go about their day, thinking about how much sugar they can cram into their little bodies before their parents find out. They should be thinking about their first crushes, blushing when they catch the eye of that little boy or girl. They should NOT have to worry about what names they are going to be called by their classroom bully on a day to day basis.
Yes, teasing happens. Some teasing is good natured, but this little girl was being called a slut. By other 10 year old children. Now, who wants to tell me where those ten year old children found out about the word slut?
It’s a travesty that hit SO close to home. My oldest went through two entire years of being called gay because he didn’t want to play football, or basketball, but instead tap danced and played the cello. The children in his class equated the liking of a physical sport to a sexual orientation. That’s like saying that I’m extra heterosexual because I enjoy sewing and scrapbooking. When are we going to teach our children better?! When will we let our children know that making fun of another person because they don’t fit into the mold that we would like them to is not only mean, it’s silly? And when will we realize that these mean little children often grow up to be mean little adults that we have to shield even ourselves from? >sigh< I swear I was coming in to write a happy post today, but since the breaking news of the Penn State scandal and the suicide of this little girl, I’m feeling all sorts of crazy about my children.
They are innocent, and they’ll be exposed to the many frustrations of life when they become adults with bills, and mortgages and politics.
Can’t we save them?
Related posts:
- Parenting: Phase Two Has Begun In Full Force.
- When Racial Stereotypes Rear Their Ugly Heads in Kids’ Books and Movies
- Still Thinking About the First Day of School
- When Breathing Might Be Best
Category: Illinois, Little Ones, Mom Challenges, New Posts, Parenting, tweens
I too was bullied as a child. I don’t think adults who did not experience this have any idea the extent of pain children can suffer because of how their peers treat them. At 37 I have never experienced a more painful phase of my life than those days on the playground.
Carrie – thank you so much for sharing a piece of your story. It bothers me a lot when these teachers have a “no tattling” rule or don’t want to take a child’s feelings into consideration because they are “just” a child. My heart hurts for this mom who had no clue how to help her daughter, and then her daughter who had no clue who to talk to besides her mom.
I too have been in both positions (bullied and parent of a kid who was bullied) and it hurt more when I learned that it was happening to my kid. I have to say though, I don’t understand how a parent couldn’t know what to do. When I learned of the bullying, there was no pause to consider our options, my son was bullied by a kid he called his best friend and we didn’t learn the extent of it until he came home with a physcial mark. Then we learned it had been intimitation, isolation (making him not be friends with other kids leaving him no choice, or so he thought, than to keep being this kids friend). But the MOMENT I learned what was going on, I went to war for my kid. Thankfully it was resolved to our satisfaction quickly and it DID give us a serious chance to talk about this stuff with my kids at a very early age (this was in first grade) but I have already told my kids that even though I work full time, if they are ever in a situation where they aren’t comfortable at school and the school DOES NOT fix it, we will pull them and home school so there is no reason to ever not address it. I know some parents think dealing with it will increase the abuse but if it was that bad already for this little girl, why wouldn’t they try to get the school involved?
Lisa – you hit on so many points that are close to my heart. I can see a parent not knowing what to do though. You know, you never know if your reaction will be the wrong one. However, I do totally agree with your POV to just do SOMETHING. I couldn’t live with knowing that I didn’t do anything to help my child. It’s such a touchy but NECESSARY subject. You know?
I think that my hurt was magnified as well with the cellist being bullied.
This just makes my heart hurt so much.