Finding Your Swan

| November 4, 2012 | Comments (0)

“Swans usually do mate for life. But there are times when a swan does take a new mate. A swan may take a new mate if its partner gets lost or dies. A male swan is known as a ‘cob’, the female is known as a ‘pen’. A baby swan is called a signet. When swans kiss, their necks form a heart shape.”

I’m a swan whose mate died. At first I paddled around frantically trying to figure out what to do as an unpaired pen swan. I was feeling lonely and unsure of my identity when I wasn’t part of a couple. My cob, and I had been together for nearly 25 years. All the other mated swans went on with their lives. I looked for other single swans to hang out with. The coupled swans invited me to dinner with them. It felt comfortable and reminded me of when I was with my mate since we’d tell stories about him and laugh about the good times. We’d all pretend that he was still with us, and yet we all knew that he wasn’t just out of town for the night.

After awhile, I knew it was time. Time to swim alone and meet other unmated swans – cobs and pens.  Since I was not that old, I found that there were many more swans that had a mate who had gotten lost then those who had died. Those with lost mates probably worried that they’d find a new mate who’d also get lost just as I worried that my new mate might die. I met some swans that didn’t want to pair up again, but I knew that I needed to be held and stretch my neck in a heart shape once more. I found unpaired pens to hang out with and look for available cob swans. There were a lot of fun times when my fellow pens and I would drink, eat and dance together while exploring our new lives on the unchartered waters of our lake. We’d share stories, cry, and laugh about out attempts at meeting new male swans.

How does a newly single swan meet another and not fear that he too will die or get lost? It’s no easy task since most available swans have damaged feathers, and are fearful of being hurt again. How will that new cob treat your little signets? How will your signets act towards your new mate? Where do you meet new cobs? What do you say on your first swim around the pond with him? Will he be trustworthy or will he wander off to other pens when you’re away? Will he care if he hurt your feelings and ruffled your feathers? Will he spend more time looking at his own reflection in the lake then looking into your eyes? What if after being together for a while you realize that he isn’t your swan for life? Happily ever after can happen a second time for a swan, but be prepared to dive in and make a splash.

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Category: Shari's Corner

About KarenLee Poter: KarenLee Poter is the writer and host of LoveEncore, an Internet talk show about dating, sex & relationships the second time around. She holds a masters degree in social work from the University of Illinois, but her expertise on the subject comes from her personal experiences after her husband passed away. KarenLee has 3 kids, 2 dogs, and a passion for inspiring people to laugh and find love again. She has been featured on the radio, books and several blog sites. View author profile.

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